How I Came to C.S. Lewis

I am sometimes asked what drew me to the writings of C.S. Lewis. Like many readers, I was acquainted with the Narnia stories as a child. In addition, while growing up, I saw my mother reading some of his adult books. But I had not ventured beyond Narnia.

One day, while on a lunch break with coworkers, the small group stepped into a bookstore in Old Town Alexandria, Virginia. I was at a difficult season in my 30-year-old life. A few weeks earlier I had met with my pastor, who tried to explain that God would “teach me through my suffering.” To which, I vehemently replied, “Well, if that’s your God, I think he’s sadistic!” 

Back to the bookstore … while my colleagues browsed other sections, I picked up a copy of A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis (the Bantam edition with the purple cover). As I idly flipped through the pages, the term “Cosmic Sadist” jumped out … more than once. Wait a minute! C.S. Lewis, the great Christian apologist, the author of Mere Christianity, used the same word to describe God that I did? I needed to know more, so I bought the book.

I learned that Lewis wrote A Grief Observed after the death of his wife. That it was originally published under a pseudonym. That the raw emotion expressed in the book troubled some readers. However, it caused my respect for Lewis to grow. He dared to voice a thought that had crossed my mind, but that I didn’t feel safe saying in a church setting.

As I read more, I found other questions I had that Lewis was willing to address. Such as: If God is sovereign, why bother to pray? Or if there is life on other planets, did Christ die for them too? In Lewis, I found a companion willing to consider questions that perhaps on their face sounded heretical. I found a companion who was honest, who did not shirk from tough topics, and admitted when he did not know the answer. I found a companion who was also kind and encouraging to fellow spiritual travelers. Thus began a lifelong journey with Lewis as my guide. I don’t always agree with him, but even then, he offers much food for thought.